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A safe place for doubts and questions

March 6, 2007

Since I started this blog I have been surprised at some of the feedback I have received. When I make a post I have more readers than I have shared this blog with so I know those I have told have shared it with others, or some of you have just happened by and decided to come back. Whatever the reason is that causes you to come by for a visit, my hope is that you are learning something about me, about God, or about life that helps you along the way.

I was struck this week by the way a visitor found my blog. They were searching for “The Bible a safe place for doubts and questions”. I posted earlier this week that I hope I can learn to be a person that doesn’t pretend she has it all together. Looking for a “safe place for doubts and questions” rings really true for me right now. I too struggle with those. This past week has been a time of really wrestling through that. I have struggled knowing I don’t follow God 100% of the time or with 100% of my life, yet that is what he wants. Sure I know he accepts what I give him, but it isn’t what really makes him happy. He doesn’t want just a little, he wants my all, and I feel unable to give it. I am capable of giving it, so the reality is I am rebellious, and refuse to give it. I was reflecting on that Sunday morning because for the last couple years I have not listened to God. I felt like I didn’t know how. What struck me on Sunday is that I do know how, but that I am blatantly refusing, even though I know God is trying to talk to me. I was stunned, wondering if I even had a relationship with him if I was living that way. At the same time I wanted to give my life away and serve him even more. So why would I want to serve and follow someone I didn’t have relationship with? It doesn’t quite make sense.

Is the Bible a safe place? I would have to say no, if you really follow it your life will be turned upside down and you will struggle, but it IS a place for doubts and questions. There is incredible freedom to ask, struggle, and even get angry at God. He is big enough and loving enough to take everything we throw at him. Choosing to follow God, really follow him, with all we have might be the hardest and most unsafe decision we can ever make, but at the same time God is safe, incredibly safe. Do I know how to listen to God? Maybe, but I am still scared, unsure, and have doubts and questions, however I know that God exists and that he, above everything else, is safe! Doubts and questions are normal. Don’t worry if you experience them. God still loves you same, infact I believe he loves the honesty we express when we share them.

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