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Honesty, a step away from deception

January 15, 2008

“Honesty is the commitment to see reality as it is, without conscious distortion, minimization, or spiritualization.  Honesty begins by admitting we are deceived, and that we would rather construct a false world than face the bright, searing light of truth, and honest person acknowledges his fondness for vague, half-truths that neither required change nor rope away the presumption of self-sufficiency. Why must we admit what is true?  Because dishonesty, or living in denial, is actually an attempt to dethrone God.  It is an attempt to become as a God with the power to construct the world in reality according to our desire.  A person committed to denying hard truths must construct an alternate world and, then, like Atlas, keep its spinning on her own power.  The creation of a false world is really an attempt to shut God out of our world.  It’s much like the child who says, “Unless you play by my rules, I’ll take my ball and bat and go home.” God does not play by our rules nor resolve our wound and ache as we desire; therefore, we leave God’s world and create one that is more palatable to our taste, even if it robs us of life and love.” (Dan Allender)

I came across this quote in a book last week. It has left my mind swirling with thoughts of all the different places that I don’t live an honest life. Places where I am deceived, I construct a false world, and I create a world that I ask God to fit into. How often do I deny the hard truths because they are uncomfortable, unknown, scary, etc.? I had never thought of how it dethrones God.

I had always thought of myself as an honest person because I do not actively, knowingly lie and deceive others. No, my problem is much worse, you see I deceive myself so deeply that I don’t even realize that I am living in a fog and haze. I started creating my reality so long ago and have become so good at living the lie and walking in the dishonesty and denial that I haven’t even known it was there. What will it take to become an honest person? The quote says it starts by admitting we are deceived, okay I admit it not only to myself but to others and to God. I also admit that I desire to make a change to live in the truth, the light, and God’s grace.

Things are changing in my world…a lot is changing. It is a tough place to be, but I feel for the first time in a long time that true change, life giving change and God (not me) is at the heart of this. I choose to walk that path…not just to let it happen but to actively and intentionally pursue it. Here I am Lord…now what?

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