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An elephant!

September 24, 2008

Have you ever felt like there was an elephant sitting on your chest? You know God has spoken something to you, but you are acting like you didn’t hear him.

A couple years ago God spoke something into my life. It made no sense to me. Logically it looked like a pretty stupid move, but I also felt certain he spoke it. Instead of following where he led I said no. I told him I wouldn’t do it, at least not in his timing and his way. What followed was seven months of being unemployed and the most painful experience of my life.

Last week, I again felt like God spoke something into my life. Again it seems to make no sense. I don’t think I am even capable of doing it (but if I dared to ask I think he would agree and tell me that he is big enough to accomplish it through me). So, here I sit feeling like an elephant is in the room. For days I have been feeling like I don’t even have faith because I am looking God in the face and telling him no.  I sit here knowing I have told God I will follow with all I am, and when he asks I tell him I am not capable of it (sounds like Moses!). Am I really going to sit here, call myself a Christian, and then tell the King of Kings no? I won’t even start with the list of what is wrong with this whole situation.

When will I learn!

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