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Understanding the gospel

June 1, 2009

I had a life changing event occur this week. My pastor told me that I do not understand the gospel of Christ and I am not living it. Considering I have called myself a Christian for 24 years I was completely knocked back and didn’t understand. I think I now do, and unfortunately I think my pastor was right.

Although I was raised in the church and a Christian home they were not strong in their Biblical teachings. I was told the good news of the gospel is that God sent his son to save us from our sin because our sin separates us from God. That is amazing news! The problem is we stop there and the Bible tells us more. It tells us that if we believe in him and submit to him we will have a life that is transformed so our old self dies and we become new. I will be different than before. Now that is good news!

I thought I understood that before, but I am realizing I only knew it with my head, not my heart. Today I don’t know if I am a Christian, and I stand here in brokenness. I can tell you that at church yesterday I stood before God and either rededicated or committed my life, and it is my heart’s desire to be a believer and to live in that every day. I have lived a life that has not been transformed by my faith in God. I have lived in fear, selfishness, lack of faith, condemnation, and not understanding my identity before God. I have continued to live as a sinner who has a Savior she can call on instead of as someone who has been saved. I have not submitted my life to God so he can make it new. For all of this I am sorry!

I repent of these sins. I repent of living a life for me and not being a part of God’s family. I repent of not trusting God’s leaders and allowing his word to change me and lead me in a new life. Today, I commit myself a new to God, and I do that publicly, proclaiming to the world that I desire to live as a daughter of the king! I choose a life that is new, a life that is transformed! I choose to believe in his word and I cry out to God to help me in my unbelief. I hope I will find other believers to connect with who can help point me in the right direction so I will walk with God faithfully, righteously, and in holiness from this day forward.

Lord, I am sorry for the incredibly poor example, witness, and daughter I have been for you. I have damaged your kingdom by being lukewarm and by not believing you and allowing you into my life. I don’t want to be one of the unfaithful and ungodly people on this earth. Please allow me into your family and forgive me for my sin. I desire to walk this life with you, to be a new creation, and to live every moment in such a way that you are glorified and magnified to this world. I love you so deeply and today I give you all I know how to give. Help me learn today how to give you even more tomorrow so my life is growing deeper with you.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. fgenej11 permalink
    June 1, 2009 8:18 am

    Your certainly on the right path now. Thank God for pastors like yours. I had a similar experince in my early 20’s. I am praying that you will continue in the power and strength of God’s Holy Spirit and will learn and grow like you’ve never grown before. May God bless and keep you!

    • June 1, 2009 9:23 am

      Yes, I am thankful for him. Very thankful.
      Unfortunately my sin has meant he needed to make very hard decisions for the best of the community and we are not able to have relationship at this time. I am hopeful that too will someday be healed.

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